Late on February 29th, 2012, my friend’s wife replied to my frustrated email about administrators at Halifax Hospital suddenly wanting to discharge mom without having a good option of where she should go:
From: [redacted]
To: Gagne, David
Subject: Re: Treatment Team Meeting 2.28.12
Sent: February 29, 2012 7:56 PM ETAny way you could get down there Friday for a few days? Attend that meeting and help mom find placement? [redacted] … wanted me to reassure you that he hasn’t forgotten about you. He brought home his contact list for nursing home/ ALF contacts in Daytona. I’m sure he’ll be in touch with you soon once he’s made some phone calls. He also said that he has some names of Elder Care lawyers that he works with if you need one.
Do you know if Jenny has tried any of my suggestions of activities to try with your mom?
Was she able to take a picture of your mom for you ?
I think you’re correct that they’re trying to get rid of your mom (but I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner). I really think it would be wise for you “make face” with the hospital (where she’s leaving and where she’ll be going). You, not Jenny, really need to be present to make those decisions. It would probably make mom feel safer and you’ll be glad you were there for her.
Keep me posted! Xoxo
I replied a few hours later:
From: Gagne, David
To: [redacted]
Subject: Re: Treatment Team Meeting 2.28.12
Sent: March 1, 2011 10:41 PM PTHey [redacted],
Well, a quick check shows that the cheapest I could get a round-trip plane ticket for tomorrow would be $708, so that’s not really a viable option. They’re going to conference call me into the 8:30am meeting on Friday, though, and Jenny will be there. I think it’s more than a little inconsiderate that they’re having this meeting so early when they know full well that I am on the west coast and it means it will be 5:30am for me. I’m going to call tomorrow to see if I can convince them to make it later in the morning. (I know it is a huge HUGE favor to ask, but is there any chance at all of you joining the call? Even if it’s just to listen? I will gladly call you if you can.)
I’m sorry to hear about [redacted] … I very much appreciate that he was thinking about me during what is no doubt a stressful time for him; I *had* been a little disheartened that I hadn’t heard from him. Yes, I would be grateful for the contact information for any elder care lawyers he knows.
[redacted] also called and left me a voice mail tonight — I was busy with [redacted] and couldn’t answer the phone! — saying that he might be able to get me in touch with some lawyers through his company, maybe even some that do pro bono work.
By now you’ve probably received the email from Jenny about her experiences with mom since you suggested ways to keep mom connected. Yes, she was able to get me two photos of my mom. She looks horrible, although I can’t say I’m very surprised.
I know you’re right about me being there so all of the social workers and doctors can at least put a face to the name and voice on the phone. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how complicated everything is when you have an 18-month old in the mix, though. I’m going to talk to [redacted] about going to Florida as soon as I can.
Right now I think Jenny is (justifiably) petrified that Halifax is just going to ramrod my mom’s discharge through the system and she is going to be dumped into a facility even less qualified to give her the care and support she needs. As much as I would like to dream about her making some sort of recovery — because I firmly believe that all hope is not lost for a return to some bearable level of functionality — at this point we are simply worried about her physical *and* psychological health not getting any more damaged because of the complete lack of any efforts of rehabilitation and the claustrophobic, sterile, and boring environment where she’s trapped now.
Again, my heart is filled with gratitude to you and [redacted] and [redacted]. Just knowing that there is anyone that cares makes a profound difference.
David Vincent Gagne