Kathie Gagne died 4,583 days ago.

Another Glimmer of Hope
July 12th, 2012 @ 11:30 am

I just received a very, very kind email from Sherri Spillman, the Administrator at Woodland Terrace.

Continue reading …

Reply Received!
July 12th, 2012 @ 10:17 am

Great news! I almost immediately received a response from Sylvia Gray, so it looks like I have her email address logged correctly.

Sylvia said:

I am receiving your emails. I don’t have anything significant to report at this time.

I did receive an email from [my sister] which I will try to address today.

I did speak with [my brother-in-law] who has offered to assist in any way. In order for us to speak with him, it’s necessary that he be placed on the HIPAA list. Are you in agreement that he be placed on that list if he is not already?

Thanks.

I replied:

Dear Sylvia,

Great! Okay. Thanks! I just wanted to make sure they were getting to you. My mom was at a facility — Stewart-Marchman — in December and January of last year and they were terrible about responding to emails, so I was just being cautious.

[Name redacted] is my brother-in-law. He is the husband of [name redacted], who is my wife’s sister.

Yes, I authorize you to share information with:

  • my brother-in-law [name redacted]
  • my sister-in-law [name redacted]
  • my wife, [name redacted]
  • my sister, [name redacted]
  • a friend of the family, [name redacted]
  • my uncle, [name redacted]

I am only authorizing you to share information with these people, though. I am the only one who should be authorized to make any DECISIONS at all.

Please confirm that everyone at your facility understands that NOBODY other than myself is allowed to make any decisions regarding my mother’s care, medications, finances, or belongings in any way at all.

If there is any confusion about this at all — or if you think it will confuse people to have those other family members listed on my mom’s chart — then I would rather be safe than sorry and simply remove every name except my own and force anyone to get clearance from me each time if they want information. I am available 24/7 via my mobile phone, so there is no reason for anyone to be discussing my mother’s care without me.

Thanks so much,

David Vincent Gagne

Waiting for a Reply
July 12th, 2012 @ 10:12 am

I just sent the following email to Sylvia Gray and Sherri Spillman at Woodland Terrace:

Hello, Sylvia and Sherri,

Can one of you please confirm that I have your email addresses correct?

I sent an email to Sylvia (and copied my sister) at 12:50:56 AM PDT yesterday, and my sister sent an email to Sylvia (and copied me) at 8:18:23 PM PDT yesterday. As far as I can tell, we have not received a reply to either message, and I just want to confirm that they were delivered and received properly.

Please understand that I am not complaining or trying to be a pest. I just want to confirm that I have your email addresses recorded correctly.

Thanks in advance,

David Vincent Gagne

I am a little concerned because there seemed to be some confusion about the correct format of email addresses at their facility, and it’s a little strange that the domain name on their email addresses doesn’t match the domain name of their website. Hopefully one of them will respond soon to confirm their addresses.

Possible Improvement?
July 12th, 2012 @ 9:35 am

I just received a text message from my sister. She said:

I talked to Mom a little this morning. She was actually a little responsive and seemed to understand when I said things to her. She said “I love you” and even said “see ya” when I said it.

An Email to Sylvia
July 11th, 2012 @ 8:18 pm

My sister emailed Sylvia Gray at Woodland Terrace in response to my message from last night. I’m including here both the content of the message sent from my sister to Sylvia and also a copy of the letter that was sent to my mother.

Continue reading …

A Visit to Woodland Terrace
July 11th, 2012 @ 1:20 pm

My brother-in-law just called to tell me that he had just left Woodland Terrace.

He said that he talked to Sylvia Gray and that he was able to spend some time with mom. He said that Woodland Terrace was definitely much nicer in general than Coastal Rehab, where she had been from May 9th to May 16th. He said the interior was better in almost every way, and that there are two “wings” which are almost identical. The employees he met all seemed fairly competent and the place was relatively well organized.

My brother-in-law told me that mom shares a room with another lady who is really “out of it” and was asleep the whole time he was there. He said he tried talking to mom and she was “kinda” responsive, which is somewhat of an improvement, I suppose. He asked her if she’d spoken to me lately and she told him no at first, but when he asked again she said yes. He asked her how she is feeling and she said, “Not good.” When he tried to get more information out of her, she stopped responding at all.

He said that the TV which I gave her Christmas a few years ago (and which he is currently storing at his house) might be too big for her room, but that he’d taken some measurements and would investigate later. He said he asked mom about the TV and about getting a phone in the room for her and she seemed to understand. He put her belongings — mostly clothes, photographs, and stuffed animals from my sister — in the dresser she had in the room and then he completed some paperwork to inventory what he’d left there.

He said that he asked her if there was anything he could for her, and she very clearly said, “I’d like a glass of water.” A complete sentence is a landmark event at this point, I feel. My brother-in-law told me that she’s in a “low bed” because she continues to try to get up and walk around unassisted, which is sort of dangerous. The nurses told him that she cries pretty frequently, but she hasn’t been aggressive at all.

The whole time he was there, he said there was a woman in the room that was sort of like a nurse, but was really more of a room attendant. She told him that it takes about a week for residents to get acclimated to the facility and for the staff to get to know a new resident. My brother-in-law also said that he met Cheryl, the evening nurse.

He asked Sylvia about a phone and she told him the same thing she had told me, which is that for now it probably makes more sense to call the nurses station first and arrange a time to call so they can prepare by getting her near a phone. He said there seemed to be many more employees there than there were at Coastal Rehab; there was always someone nearby and he never had to look for long to find someone to help with anything.

My brother-in-law noted that security there seemed much better than Coastal Rehab. (Someone tried to leave through the front door to have a cigarette and was rebuffed firmly.) He again stressed that the entire facility simply seemed cleaner than Coastal.

As an example of how attentive they are, he said that twice he approached unattended nurses stations and both times someone immediately came to see if he needed anything. He said every single person he met seemed very nice, and he was somewhat surprised at how youthful and competent all the staff seemed.

He explained that mom has a squeeze-buzzer next to her bed that she can reach easily to call a nurse if she ever needs that. He also mentioned that someone told him my uncle had visited mom yesterday and had been trying to “get information”, whatever that means. Apparently there was some confusion about my brother-in-law being my mother’s brother or being me or being my mother’s brother-in-law instead of my brother-in-law. But he clarified all that for the staff before he left.

He said that he asked my mother, “Do you want to get out of here?” and she said, “Yeah.” He told her that we were going to do what we can to get her out of there, and asked her if she had any messages for us. She again said, “Yeah,” but then didn’t elaborate at all. He said that it looked very much like she was trying to talk, but that she wasn’t actually saying anything, which must have been frustrating for him. (I can certainly empathize with that at this point.)

He told me that the TV in her room was on ESPN, which I consider fantastic news. My mom loves sports and for the last eight or nine months I have been telling nurses over and over again to please leave her TV set to ESPN, yet every time I talk to her I can hear Matlock or Law & Order or some other TBS or TNT crap in the background. So the fact that the attendants at Woodland Terrace actually listened to me when I told them to leave it on ESPN made me very happy.

The room attendant told my brother-in-law that she would put all mom’s stuff away for her, so he didn’t actually arrange photographs around the room or anything like that. He also noted that he saw a bunch of photographs of my son on her dresser, which was great news. I just sent her those photos on Monday, so it was nice to learn that someone must have read her the letter I sent and shown her the photos.

He said there were about a dozen rooms on her wing, and that they all seemed very clean and organized.

He asked Sylvia about psychotherapy for mom, and he was told that it wasn’t going to happen until there was a resolution of the issues with Medicaid and funding, which is pretty disheartening. But Sylvia said she’d help with the Medicaid application. She’s now approximately the 893rd person to tell us that, though, so it’s hard for me to have faith.

Finances
July 11th, 2012 @ 12:50 am

I sent an email to my sister and to Sylvia Gray, so the two of them could share notes on what’s been done to date as far as getting mom Medicaid, etc.

Continue reading …

Best Brother-in-Law Ever
July 10th, 2012 @ 12:09 pm

When I talked to Sylvia Gray earlier today, she asked if there was any way I could provide some clothes for my mom. Coincidentally a few minutes later I received a text message from my sister asking me if our family friend could contact my in-laws about getting some of mom’s clothes to her at Woodland Terrace. In all of the excitement of the last week or two I completely forgot that my mom has been wearing just a hospital gown since she was admitted to Halifax on May 16th.

I called my brother-in-law because he still has all of mom’s stuff in his garage from when he was kind enough to remove it from Coastal Rehab. (She doesn’t have much at this point that isn’t in long term storage.) He’s just about the nicest human being on the planet, and he told me he’d be happy to take her stuff to her at this new facility later this afternoon or at some point tomorrow.

Never, ever, ever underestimate the impact of doing a favor for someone.

A Few Words with Mom
July 10th, 2012 @ 10:37 am

My phone rang and Sylvia Gray, the Business Office Manager at Woodland Terrace, was on the line.

She said that she was sitting with my mom, who was so excited to talk to me that she was crying. It was very sweet of her to say that, but I suspected my mom was just crying because that has been her default state for the last few weeks.

I could hear Sylvia give my mom the phone and after I said, “Hello?” a half-dozen times, I heard my mom’s voice weakly rasp, “David?”

I said, “Hi, mom! Can you hear me?” and she replied, “Yes.”

That was pretty much the most talkative she got for the next seven minutes. I kept trying to engage her:
“Can you hear me?”
“How are you feeling?”
“Please try to relax.”
“Try to take a deep breath, mom.”
“It’s going to be okay, mom.”
“Are you still there, mom?”
But she was — for all intents and purposes — unresponsive for the rest of the call.

Eventually Sylvia took the phone from her. She told me that she had given my mom a piece of paper with my name and number on it, and that she seemed to very happy to have that.

Sylvia said that some of the nurses had asked if my mom had any clothing, because she’s just been in a hospital gown since she arrived on Friday. (And I realized that meant that she had probably worn nothing but hospital gowns since she was admitted to Halifax on May 16th, which is pretty depressing.) I told her that my brother-in-law had some of her clothes and I would call him and / or arrange to have some of her clothes brought to her as soon as possible.

I asked Sylvia if she could get me the email address for Sherri Spillman and she provided it right then. Then she tried to get me to say, “Goodbye,” to mom, but mom wasn’t really talking at all, so we hung up.

Business Office Manager
July 10th, 2012 @ 9:25 am

The Administrator of Woodland Terrace, Sherri Spillman, was true to her word and I just received a call from Sylvia Gray, the Business Office Manager. We spoke for almost thirty minutes and she was very pleasant.

We began the conversation by discussing why it was that my mom didn’t have Medicaid (or Medicare), and how frustrated I am that it’s been more than six full months and it seems like no progress at all has been made on that front. She gave me her work email address and I promised her I’d email her and my sister 1 so they could connect about my mom’s financial situation. Sylvia said she’d need copies of all sorts of paperwork and forms and bank statements, etc. and that it was probably in our best interest to simply start the entire Medicaid application process again from the beginning. The current state of health care in this country sucks. There is no other way to say it. Things need to change. 2

Sylvia said that there was a $50.00 set-up fee to get a phone line installed in mom’s room, and the service is $20.00/mo. We talked about how it probably — at this point, at least — doesn’t make sense to do that, because she’s so overcome by her depression that she has been unable to do something as simple as answer a ringing telephone for about a year. We agreed that the best option would be for me to call the nurses station first to arrange a time to talk to her, and then call again at the prearranged time when the nurses could have her ready and close to a phone. (It’s really heartbreaking.)

Sylvia noted that it’s really a problem that mom isn’t receiving Medicare. (I decided it wasn’t appropriate for me to mention that after dealing with all of this for all of 2012 I still don’t really understand the difference between Medicaid and Medicare.)

Then we had a short exchange in which I detailed why it wasn’t really an option for me to move my mom to Los Angeles or for my sister to try to move her to Seattle. (The cost of living is much too high in LA, and I have a toddler. My sister doesn’t have a career or permanent residence in Seattle.)

Sylvia asked me about my refusal to consider that my mom should be there as a “long-term” resident, because she said she had that in her notes. I told her that I hadn’t ever “refused” anything, but that numerous doctors have told me that my mom has not had a stroke, has no discernible brain damage, and does not suffer from dementia. My mother has suffered a traumatic mental breakdown and has severe depression stemming from psychological issues. She requires acute psychotherapy and — with good counseling — should be able to return to something of a normal life. She should not need to be “institutionalized” for the rest of her days.

Sylvia understood what I was saying, and offered to talk to her Social Services director about getting my mom involved with the community and engaging her. But she stressed that Woodland Terrace is not a mental hospital and they aren’t prepared to provide serious psychotherapy. 3 She said that — just like Grace Manor and Coastal Rehab — there was a psychologist and a psychiatrist that each visited Woodland Terrace once per week, but that neither really provides what you’d consider classic psychotherapy, “like you’d see on television,” she said. That was very, very disheartening to hear.

We then returned to the problem of the telephone, and Sylvia said that the cordless phones at the nurses station don’t always work down the hallways, and that my issues with Cheryl not being able to figure out how to connect me to my mom shouldn’t be too worrisome, because the nurses aren’t receptionists and don’t really have a responsibility to understand how the phone systems work.

Sylvia promised that she would get my mom on the phone with me at some point today. And she did.


1 My sister has been managing my mom’s Social Security checks for the last year or so.
2 If you have not yet done so, please read this very clear and simple explanation of Obamacare.
3 That’s more than a little disappointing, because multiple physicians at Halifax Hospital — notably Dr. Panja on my birthday — promised me that they’d make sure it was clear to the discharge coordinators at Halifax that my mother required a facility that offered comprehensive psychological therapy.