Don’t Tell People
May 19th, 2015 @ 8:24 am

It’s been over a thousand days since mom died and I am still finding scribbled, unsent letters and postcards of hers in manila folders and spiral notebooks that seem threateningly infinite. I frequently curse her for not adding dates to things, so many, many of them are impossible to fix in the timeline of her […]

Untitled Poem
August 14th, 2013 @ 9:16 am

I found one of mom’s 5×7 Mead Five-Star college-ruled notebooks. I’m sure she had dozens of them; she loved little notebooks and somehow that passion trickled down to me. This particular one is riddled with usernames and passwords and email addresses, so I assume she kept it near her computer. I try every now and […]

Ken Kesey
September 17th, 2012 @ 12:01 am

[Today is] the birthday of Ken Kesey, born in La Junta, Colorado (1935). He was a champion wrestler in high school and voted most likely to succeed. He married his high school sweetheart and then accepted a fellowship in creative writing at Stanford. He got a job as a night aide at the VA hospital […]

Together More Often
June 22nd, 2010 @ 10:04 am

Mom sent me this birthday card just a few months before my son, her first grandchild, was born. I had called her to tell her about the latest ultrasound and how excited I was; those are the pictures to which she refers.   Dear David, I am so excited for you and I can’t wait […]

New Cycle
March 6th, 2010 @ 12:00 pm

March 6, 2010 Imagine we’re in a completely new cycle. I have a beautiful dog and a silly black cat. I’ve reconnected with Cricket and Gary, and I hope to see them soon. again. Kathleen A. Gagne This is the last entry mom wrote in her “Letters to Mom” journal. It’s the only entry without […]

February 4th, 2010 @ 12:00 pm

Dear Mom, I wish that I could understand why life gets so screwed up. Somehow, I’m sitting in a rented condo, watching CSI. I’m still alone. Jen is in Seattle and David is still in Los Angeles. [Redacted] and David are very happy. Soon they will be presenting you with a great grandchild. I’m very […]

Save House
June 19th, 2009 @ 11:18 am

I found three documents on mom’s old hard drive from the middle of June 2009. Apparently they are drafts of a letter she prepared for someone at a bank related to her attempt to avoid a foreclosure on her home in Gainesville, FL. They’re labeled save house 1.doc, save house 2.doc, and save house 3.doc […]

Loan Mod.doc
April 24th, 2009 @ 12:28 pm

On April 24th, 2009, mom wrote a letter to someone named Mr. Black regarding the mortgage on her home in Gainesville, FL. She was crushed when the bank eventually foreclosed on it.   April 24, 2009 Dear Mr. Black, I am writing to you regarding my loan #XXXXXXXXXX. I was working with someone from your […]

The Face of Florida Works
April 17th, 2009 @ 6:11 am

On April 17, 2009 mom wrote a document she saved on her computer as The Face of Florida Works.doc. I have no idea why she wrote it. It almost reads like a review for a website, or perhaps it was something she planned to send to Florida Works as part of a resume.   The […]

Gone with the Wind
February 21st, 2009 @ 12:00 pm

2/21/09 Hi, Mom, I’m watching Gone With the Wind. Daddy really did look like Clark Gable. It makes me feel close to you. I wish we could watch it together some day. Maybe I’ll ask Jen to watch it someday soon. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I miss you! Clark Gable […]