It’s been weird lately — and scary. There has been anthrax in Florida and New York — one at a sleazy newspaper office and 1 at 30 Rock — the NBC studio.

I had “bad” dreams about David last night and didn’t get much sleep and, when I called David today, he sounded all stuffed. He said it started yesterday, and it’s allergies, but, of course, I’m very scared for him, my beautiful, wonderful, bright, shining child, whose awe and wonder at the world has always given me unspeakable joy. Please …

A couple of things are in the works on the job front, but nothing solid yet. One is an inside sales position with a publisher where I could make a lot of money. I’m actually thinking about it …

Susan says I need to go back and cherish the child that I was, the one who felt so lonely and afraid. I’ve heard that before, back at St. Pat’s, from Fran and the Dominicans, I think. I probably really need to do that, but I’m not sure how it will erase the fact that I didn’t feel loved …

I’m trying to lose weight — again. I feel so old sometimes, especially when I think of all the lost years. Jen told me today she really wants me around for a long time.
Kathleen A. Gagne