Saw Harry Potter with Jen today. They did a great job! Practically every scene was exactly as I had pictured it while reading.

Nothing – nil – cold stop in the job search. Sent out one resume but really don’t anticipate any response.

I’m feeling kind of desperate. I know I have to make some decisions fast, but I feel as if my feet are stuck in ankle-deep mud. I can’t think. I sit at my computer and play scrabble and feel bad about how I’m playing. And I make desultory moves to find a job in a pretty awful market. I emailed Barbara again, but she hasn’t answered.

I can’t believe how much I need someone to love me right now. Jen has been so great, but I hate to rely on her so much. Am I looking for God? Maybe. I don’t know.

Come on, Kathie! Pull out of this! Get your butt moving and do what needs to be done, dammit.

You’re better than this! Quit feeling so sorry for yourself! Get mad if you have to, but, for Pete’s sake (and yours), get up and fight through it! You deserve to be happy! You have terrific kids and very good friends! Stop wallowing! Find that person you were before the world beat you down! This is your chance! This mess is not an obstacle — it’s an opportunity!

Lose the weight! You can do it! Write the book — about the person who was born by mistake, about the romance! Focus on how well your work was received!

Look at UF! See what they have to offer you — or go online! Find a career that will make you $30 – 40/hr! You can do it! You deserve it!

And there’s a job out there for you! A good job! A great job! You have great things to offer — get the credentials you need! Look at what you’ve done!

David & Jen! And UCF! And buying houses! And getting published!

Just do it! You can! You will! Starting now (make a plan)!

Stop being so afraid!

You can win!
Kathleen A. Gagne