I’m not sure how it happened. I was driving home from work. I was tired, a little stressed about moving and all the burdens I’ve been carrying for so long.

I’d finished a mystery on CD, and I put Celine Dion’s Christmas album in the player.

There was “Oh, Holy Night” in all its glory.

I’ve been thinking about God and backing away a lot, for a while now. Suddenly a random thought ran through my head. “I think I want God in my life.” As I sang and listened to the song, I felt a fleeting memory of loving Jesus.

There wasn’t any fanfare, no sparks or deep thoughts.

Something changed.

Since that strange moment, I’ve felt warm, almost protected, peaceful.

I don’t know what’s coming next, but I’m waiting for it.

I don’t feel guilt for before, for not believing. I’m not exactly sure what I believe now, but I’m waiting, listening, looking …
Kathleen A. Gagne