Angry with Him

The last four or five years of mom’s life were hard. She was out of work almost the entire time and quickly depleted her meager retirement fund. She was also really struggling with the death of her mother and living alone, thousands of miles away from her two children. I talked to her on the phone every single day, but it was never enough. At one point I asked her and my father to start writing me letters, hoping that they’d send me stories of their lives. I mostly just wanted mom to get in the habit of writing, which I knew always brought her some joy.

For a while she did a pretty good job of writing me, but they were almost always like this – rambling notes about her day and feelings of hopelessness. (My dad, for the record, has never managed to get in the habit of writing. I am hoping that he is secretly keeping a journal full of stories for me to find one day far in the future.)

11/13/08
Dear David,

I am happy to write to you every day, but you might have to send me some stamps.

The first thing I usually do is have breakfast, but Mocha has been throwing up a lot, and I have to clean it up. Way to start the day!

I think Obama is going to make the changes he promised to make. I hope the country stays on his side for as long as it takes us to get on track.

I stopped at McDonald’s to buy a #1. hand for Ronald McDonald house kids, and I got a free DVD for tonight. Of course, I’m so far behind everyone else relating to tech! I ended up having to call Cox.

Mocha hasn’t thrown up since last night. That’s good. I’m feeding her two cans of ID (bland) food per day. So it comes to $4.00 per day just for Mocha. She’s worth it, though.

I have to feed it to her in several sections. She eats more slowly that way.

My guy from Church said he would talk to HR today. I hope that went well.

I’m still not sure about God, but I’m trying. I’ve been pretty angry with him for years.

Still no feedback from GRU! Except that I made it past level one.

I bought some stationery today, just so I can write to you and Jen.

Took Mocha for a short walk.

I’m going to look at Nationwide and Pepsi job lines tomorrow. I’m also going to look into other city jobs.

You and Jen are my heart. I miss you every day and wish you were both on the right side of the world.

Have a wonderful day every day,
Love,
Mom