Kathleen A. Gagne

Kathie Gagne died 4,510 days ago.

November 10th, 2014 @ 10:05 am

On this date in 1961, the satirical anti-war novel Catch-22 by Joseph Heller was published.

“He would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn’t, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn’t have to; but if he didn’t want to he was sane and had to.”

Mom must have read this book, because I know she had a fondness for Heller. For Christmas 1997 she gave me a copy of God Knows, Heller’s fictionalized memoir of King David.

I’m named after Michelangelo’s statue of David, and mom loved loved loved the story of David and Goliath; she always rooted for the underdog.

The Twelve Days of Halloween

October 31st, 2014 @ 9:03 am

I’m sure we weren’t the only family that did this, of course, but our “Twelve Days of Halloween” song was very special to us. My sister and I loved singing this with mom every year. I’ve got no way to determine exactly the date, but one year mom transcribed the lyrics. Judging by the handwriting, I guess my sister or I helped a bit; or maybe one of us found her lyrics later and decided to annotate them.

About a year and a half after she died, I found them in a big box of mom’s old files and scraps of memories.

On the first day of Halloween, my true love gave me to me … an owl in an old dead tree.
On the second day of Halloween, my true love gave to me … two trick or treaters …
… three black cats …
… four skeletons …
… five scary ghosts …
… six witches flying …
… seven goblins gobbling …
… eight Jack-o-lanterns …
… nine monsters howling …
… ten bats flying …
… eleven haunted houses …
… twelve spooky noises …

Happy Birthday

September 22nd, 2014 @ 9:34 am

I had to use Skype today for a work conference call and was surprised when it showed me I had a message waiting from mom. It was a friendly reminder that today is her birthday, which I already knew, of course.

It also showed my log of Skype communications with her. There was only one. On March 17, 2012 apparently we had a six-minute video chat. I can’t remember it at all, and find it hard to imagine because by then she was almost completely catatonic. Perhaps it was my sister using her computer, although that doesn’t spark any memories.

I’d give anything to be able to hear her voice today, and I miss her terribly still.

Happy birthday, mom. I love you.

Gabriel

September 5th, 2014 @ 6:57 am

On the radio this morning I heard an interview with a man who had lost his son. He is a poet and he wrote an epic poem about his grief. He read part of the poem on the radio and I really liked it, so I wanted to post it here.

Order to Show Cause

August 16th, 2014 @ 8:19 am

So … out of the blue I received an “Order to Show Cause” from the Seventh Judicial Circuit Court of Volusia County’s Probate Division.

The document states that, “nothing has been filed to adequately respond to the Court’s Order dated 6/03/2014.” I have no idea what that Court Order could have been; I never received anything. It continues, “That David Gagne, personal representative, and Jill Bechtold, counsel of record, are hereby required to appear before this Court in Chambers, at the specified date, time, and location:”

Then there are instructions for me and Jill (who has long, long, long ago flown the coop) to appear in a Deland courthouse on Monday, August 25th, 2014, and a ton of notes about how they’re going to issue a bench warrant if I don’t appear and that nobody but nobody can possibly revoke or cancel this order, blah blah blah.

So I’ll be going to Deland on Monday. I can’t imagine that anything helpful, efficient, sensible, logical, or meaningful is going to happen. But I shall continue to tilt at windmills.

Sail On, Silver Girl

August 12th, 2014 @ 1:02 pm

June 1962

Today is the second anniversary of mom’s death. I feel simultaneously like it was just yesterday and like it was a million years ago. I miss her every single day. I still cannot believe that she is gone and just how little the universe seems to care. She was — more than anything else — a great mom. I know it would make her happy to hear me say that.

String Beans and Beets

August 4th, 2014 @ 7:18 am

One of the those odd things I distinctly remember from my childhood is frequently being forced to eat string beans and beets. I have no idea why mom made those vegetables as a side for us so often, since my sister and I both hated them. And cold, too! I used to hate that salad. Now, of course, I would love it if I could have her make it for me again.

I am having a very hard time believing that in a week it will be two years since she died. It simultaneously seems like a million years since I heard her voice and just yesterday that she was still here.

Goldstein, Schmitt & Cambron, PL

June 30th, 2014 @ 11:04 am

Just on a lark I called the law offices of Goldstein, Schmitt & Cambron, PL this morning. They have omnipresent billboards imploring drivers to contact them to help with wrongful death lawsuits, and their web address is femaleinjurylawyer.com, so I thought it might be worth a try.

The woman who answered the phone was very nice. She said that they really only worked on car accidents and “slip and fall” cases. She suggested I call the Florida Bar and someone there would be able to recommend a good lawyer based on the details of how mom died. She was even kind enough to email me the phone number to call.

Tilting at Windmills

May 20th, 2014 @ 1:32 pm

Towards the end of May 2014 I sent the following email to a family friend:

From: Gagne, David
To: [redacted]
Subject: My Mom
Sent: May 20, 2014 1:32 PM PT

Dear [redacted],

I hope that this email finds you well and you don’t think it inappropriate. I know we only barely know each other, but I need some legal advice and I don’t know where to turn at this point.

My mother died 646 days ago, and I have been told there is a two year statute of limitations in the State of Florida, so I am getting desperate.

I understand completely if this is not really in your wheelhouse, but I thought I would touch base with you in case you could at least point me to a colleague that may be able to help.

My mother was 63 when she died, and we were very close. She had some psychological issues that needed to be addressed, but she certainly didn’t deserve to die the way she did, alone and penniless and — literally — scared to death because of the incompetence and uncaring of a string of doctors and administrators.

I’ve been told repeatedly by lawyers in Florida that — because my mom was not married and had no descendants under the age of 25 — there is no financial incentive for anyone to investigate my mother’s death, and so nobody cares. I just cannot believe that it could be that simple.

I have documented hundreds of phone calls and email exchanges I had with nurses, doctors, and administrators before her death, and I have thousands of pages of medical records and charts and such. Almost everything (except the medical records) are archived at the website I have built for her at http://kathiegagne.com/

I know it’s a lot to ask, but if you can offer any assistance whatsoever I will be eternally grateful. And if you cannot, please know that I will not take it personally.

Thank you sincerely,

David Vincent Gagne