Kathie Gagne died 4,641 days ago.

Overdraft Charges on Mom’s Account
July 22nd, 2010 @ 6:28 pm

In the summer of 2010, shortly before everything really went to hell, I wrote an email to a friend of mom’s from her church who was trying to help her. I had been doing my best to try to manage mom’s finances from 3,000 miles away, but it was a monumental task and I was quickly losing patience.

 
 
Kathleen
July 11th, 2010 @ 8:31 pm

The kind woman from mom’s church who was helping her dealing with life sent me this message in early July of 2010:

 
 
A New Place
July 10th, 2010 @ 7:19 am

Mom’s dear friend wrote a long email to me and my sister on July 10th, 2010. In it she detailed how she had helped mom move into a new apartment at The Park and what her new surroundings were like:

 

Sent: July 10, 2010 @ 07:19 AM PDT
Subject: Kathy

David & Jennifer,

Week 1 post move complete. Your mom is two thirds unpacked and settled. Yesterday evening we walked to Wal-Mart for a few food items. It was a nice walk. The Park is very centrally located. Today we are going to the farmer’s market and the T-Mobile store to do research into plans, the status of her account and see what deals can be had on veggies.

David, I am trying to organize her finalize her budget and financial plans. Please email me the bank routing number and account number of the Bank of America account tied to her UCF debit card. With that info we can get funds transferred into that account and I can get her electric bill and rent paid as an ACH draft.

When I go into Daytona this weekend I will email you all your mom’s budget which is saved on my office computer. By my calculation she will need about a $5,000 disbursement from her retirement to cover her basic living expenses thru November for rent, electric, food, phone and medications.

I went over the printed budget with her last night which she understands she is on a tight, austere budget but one that covers the basic necessities of life. She knows she will have to find some type of employment to afford car and it’s upkeep or cable.

Today we are going to ride the bus together, so that she knows how to get to her counselor and back to her apartment. She tells me she hasn’t ever ridden the bus as an adult. So I am going to teach her how. He counselor is two miles straight down the same street she lives on, Dunlawton Avenue.

City Center, including the library, YMCA and City Hall are accross the street from the Park. Wal-Mart is a block and half down on the same side of the street. Home Depot is accross the street from Wal-Mart. That is the Clyde Morris Boulevard and Dunlawton Avenue intersection. On the corner even closer to the Park, Nova Road and Dunlawton, is Bank of America, Publix, Kmart and a host of other stores between two regional shopping centers. On Dunlawton on either side of the Park are restaurants all around.

David, at your earliest opportunity, transfer the last $20 into Kathy’s debit card account.

I am trying to get your mom to think and live more positively. Almost everyday I remind her how blessed she is but I suspect she is not on the right anti-depressant. What I plan to do is research what health services and benefits she can have once she is 62 from Florida Health Care Plans or from Humana Gold.

I will keep you posted. I am organizing a scrabble party, hopefully poolside or at the clubhouse, so that she can have friends over and have that experience.

I will let you know how that goes.

 

Mom hated when people spelled her name with a Y instead of an IE.

Re: Kathie your mother
July 1st, 2010 @ 10:36 pm

My little sister sent me this message in response to an email thread between me and mom’s friend from her church:

 
 

Of course I didn’t hate my mother, and the idea that she would ever say that to my little sister is unbearable still.

Moving News
July 1st, 2010 @ 1:52 pm

On the afternoon of July 1st, 2010 I emailed mom’s friend who was helping her move from the apartment on the river, which she loved, to a less expensive place in Port Orange.

 

Sent: July 1, 2010 @ 01:52 PM PDT
Subject: Re: Kathie your mother

Hey [redacted],

Is there any news?

I talked to my mom on the 29th and she seemed to think that she *was* still moving into The Park (and not Palmetto House).

I tried to call you after talking to her, and I left you a message, but I understand if you’ve been too busy to reply. I’m just sort of worried wondering what happened yesterday and / or today. I didn’t hear from my mom yesterday and I was a little nervous to call in case it was very traumatic and stressful; I didn’t want to add to any drama that was happening.

PS: [redacted] Again, I simply can’t thank you enough for all the help you’ve given my mom.

 

Mom’s friend replied to me that evening:

 

Sent: July 1, 2010 @ 08:56 PM PDT

Hi David,

[redacted]

Ok, the last day or so has been a whirlwind – a good one. Kathy has been greatly blessed by God to be able to get an apartment at the Park. She is scheduled to move tomorrow afternoon (7/2 at 2pm). I have gotten a small team together to move her from River Club to the Park and because of the weather and timing we are using a UHaul truck to get her moved without encountering alot of challenges. One of the two father son teams helping had their truck stolen yesterday and that lead to us seeing the value of getting this move done as quickly as possible while we have volunteers available to help.

David, I am working very closely with your mom, her spending and budget. I told her to go ahead and get her blood pressure medicine prescription refilled today and she got a few groceries to tide her over. Like I said before, I have filed for food stamps for her online. We are waiting to see the results of that application. As we previously discussed, her budget will be manageable.

There are a few details we need to take care of tomorrow: $375 to take care of the last of the intial Park expenses and $45 for the Uhaul – we may about $60 for rabies shots for her pets (I have to look at her vet records). Please do another transfer from her bill paying account to the debit card account so that she has access to about $500. I know the last time you did such a transfer it got her to about $300. Please advise me of the balance of each account again after the transfer.

We arranged for the electric service to be transfer from River Club to the Park this evening. We will have a conversation with Brighthouse tomorrow morning. We will also make time to have a conversation with someone with the T-Mobile office and Ford Motor Credit (they have been calling her and I told her what to tell them). We will also have a conversation to get State retirement arranged – I was able to talk to that group with another client who has the exact same kind of retirement as your mom and the representative was very helpful. Kathy is still looking for work. I have broken down to basically this fact: you need to have work income to keep that car and all its associated expenses.

Your mom’s stress level has come way down but she is nervous somewhat about the move. I don’t think she can visualize how it is going to happen.

Her new address will be 958 Village Trail, Apt. 713, Port Orange, FL 32127. If she gets Food Stamps, she can also get extremely discounted AT&T land line service. You can go to Rent.com and get a virtual tour of the Park at Countryside. She will have a 12 month lease. I will keep a close eye on her and daily check in with her. It is my hope and prayer that in the coming months, you will be able to notice a significant change in your Mom.

 
Kathy your mother
June 28th, 2010 @ 8:17 pm

A friend of mom’s from her church helped her tremendously during the last few years of her life. She would drive her to buy groceries and back and forth to church, help her take her pets to the vet, and frequently helped my sister and I manage mom’s finances. Here is an email she sent me a couple of days after my birthday in 2010:

David,
There has been a change of plan. We need to know how much money Kathy has left. She will need about $300 transferred to her debit card account for incidentals and storage fees and housing fees and pet food.

She is going to have to stay at our transitional housing shelter, Palmetto House, until the end of the year or so or until she finds a job – unless you have a better idea. Her social security won’t start until almost the first of December. I will send you further instructions about payment for Palmetto House, which is $70 per week and $120 for the first week. Her pets will have to go to an animal shelter temporarily as well.

I have applied online for Kathy to get food stamps – I will keep you posted on that application’s progress.

Please confirm Kathy’s cell phone is on a plan and that the bill comes directly to you (or that you access it online). I don’t think she has seen any bills for the cell phone. Also, please confirm if she has BellSouth/AT&T for her landline or if she has a BrightHouse bundle (phone, internet and cable)?

If you have any ideas about what Kathy’s immediate future please speak up. She is scheduled to completely move out of the River Club Condo on Thursday – I can’t see her affording to stay there any longer.

[name redacted]

I replied to her about forty-five minutes later, at 9:01 PM:

Hey [name redacted],

(1) My mom has $560.67 in the account I use to pay her bills and $75.03 in the account to which she has access (the one to which the UCF debit card is connected). So that means she has — to the best of my knowledge and as far as I know — exactly $635.70.

(2) I transferred $225.00 from the account I use to pay her bills into the account to which she has access through her UCF debit card so there is now approximately $300 in that account.

(3) It is very sad to hear that her Social Security won’t begin until December, but it is not a surprise at all. (I repeatedly expressed to her that it was very unlikely that the government would prove to be stupendously efficient about dispensing Social Security when it is tremendously inefficient about almost everything else.) Unfortunately I do not have a better idea. I have said for over TWO YEARS now that it was going to come to this and that there was no way I was going to be able to do anything to help. Unless my uncle or sister has some way to help her, I do not even understand how she is going to be able to afford Palmetto House without getting a job. I absolutely do not have $70/week that I could send her — at least not right now, and with a baby coming in about 45 days, it’s not likely that I’m going to have *extra* money for the rest of 2010.

(4) My mom’s cell phone is with T-Mobile and it is definitely *NOT* on any plan; the bills are definitely *NOT* coming to me and I do *NOT* access her account online to make payments. I pay her cell phone bill when she mails me a copy of it. According to my records the last time her T-Mobile bill was paid was on March 23rd. It’s a miracle that they have not yet disconnected her service! I have to assume that she has a stack of bills in her apartment somewhere and / or that she has simply been throwing them in the trash.

(5) She does *NOT* have BellSouth/AT&T for her landline. She *DOES* have a Brighthouse bundle for her home phone, internet, and cable. (The last payment for that was made on May 24 for $150.)

I called her tonight at about 7 o’clock Pacific time (10 pm Eastern) but she said she was asleep so I told her I would call tomorrow. She didn’t sound nervous, upset, or anxious at all, but I don’t know if that was because you hadn’t had a chance to discuss any of this with her yet, or that she was just too asleep to function coherently, or if she just is no longer able to function period.

I really don’t have any ideas about what can be done. I wish I did.

Please keep me posted, and thank you again for all your help.

She replied to me about an hour after that, at 10:07 PM:

Thank you David,
She is aware of everything. She was there with me at the Social Security office and I repeatedly explained her situation to her. She completely understands, what is going to happen but doesn’t understand why it is happening to her. She is scared about her future.

There are no easy answers for your mom. I don’t think she is fit to live alone. I really wish she could be someone’s boarder. She thinks she doesn’t have cable but can get reception or TV channels just because she unplugged a wire. She doesn’t know how she has her land line. Bills are a concept that seems to be above her head, I have asked about them but it is like they don’t exist (like she doesn’t get them in the mail).

I don’t know if she can hold down a job. I have used the motivation of keeping her pets to get her out beating the bushes for any kind of job. I am also worried about your mom losing her stuff in storage. She is worried about keeping her pets. Her pets are of vital importance to her (more than keeping a roof over her head). Her attachment to them worries me.

When she lost her job in Gainesville, she suffered an emotional break. Her self-esteem and confidence are gone. It is like she believes she lost a part of herself when she lost that job. Not being able to get a job is like a self-fulling prophecy about her self worth and worthiness to have or get a job. Her view of reality is almost like that of a child.

I wish I had better information to pass on. I am hoping Palmetto House will be willing to take her in and give her a chance. I have also asked the church for prayer, housing, pet sitting, storage and any other kind of assistance possible.

I think I may need to talk to her brother, but I don’t think she wants that.

I will give you further update tomorrow.

[name redacted]

* My mother spelled her name Kathie and she always got upset when people spelled it Cathy or Kathy.

Together More Often
June 22nd, 2010 @ 10:04 am

Mom sent me this birthday card just a few months before my son, her first grandchild, was born. I had called her to tell her about the latest ultrasound and how excited I was; those are the pictures to which she refers.

 

Dear David,

I am so excited for you and I can’t wait to see the pictures.

I will get to you as soon as I can. I know it would be better to be there when the baby comes. Jackson — what a great name.

I love you so much. I wish we could be together more often. If there is any way I can get there, you know I will.

I love you so much, and I am honored to be your Mother.

Love,

Mom

 
Permission
June 7th, 2010 @ 11:19 pm

I recently found something my mom wrote and signed, dated June 7, 2010. It’s in her usual handwriting, and under her signature is someone else’s, listed as a witness. It reads:

 

6/7/2010

I, Kathleen A. Gagne,

give permission for the following people to see my records related to my memory loss.

  • Dr. Shoemaker
  • Dr. Carpenter
  • Jennifer Gagne
  • Kathleen
  • David Gagne

Kathleen A. Gagne

{illegible} 6-7-2010 witness

 

The names Dr. Shoemaker, Dr. Carpenter, and Jennifer Gagne are all underlined. Her own name, which she apparently started writing out of habit and then crossed out, and mine are not underlined. The signature of the witness is illegible, but the first name appears to be Kristin.

I don’t know why she wrote this or to whom she gave it.

Finances
May 31st, 2010 @ 5:49 pm

My mom’s friend from her church sent me this email:

David,
I need to do more research but the following is pretty clear:
Your mom can’t have a debit card – she needs to operate on a cash basis,
The only draft than can continue is the one to NelNet,
Your mom is probably a good canidate for bankruptcy – at the right time,
With the money your mom has left, she can only afford to stay at the Palmetto House or with your uncle until her social security income and pension start.
Even after her retirement income kicks in – she needs to be on a cash basis for groceries and sundries – the rent, electric, cell phone and NelNet should be paid by you via draft. The electric and cell phone bills can be delivered to you paperless and paid over the net. Rent at the Park has an established way to make ACH debits. I am not 100% sure the Park is still the best path, but I am sure she can’t afford to go there now with less than $700 left to last to September.

I will check with Halifax Humane Society and Arni Foundation for their policies on short to long term care of animals when the owner is in transition.

Re: Kathleen Gagne
May 31st, 2010 @ 2:12 pm

I sent this email to my mom’s friend from her church. This kind woman did just about everything she could over the last two or three years of my mom’s life to try to help her get organized, to try to help her get back on her feet. She took her grocery shopping and to doctor’s appointments. She took her back and forth to church. She helped her with her pets. She and I frequently spoke on the phone and emailed about what we were both doing, along with my sister, to help my mom.

Hi [name redacted],

As far as I can tell there’s no way for me to determine if she paid first, last, and security deposit when she moved into that apartment. If my sister doesn’t recall then I think we’ll be forced to get mom to find her original lease agreement and / or any receipts; or to ask the property manager what the original terms were.

Her auto insurance with Infinity Auto Insurance was never configured for automatic bill payment, so there is nothing for me to cancel there. The last time I paid that bill was on 4/08 for $274.00. (She most likely has an overdue bill in her apartment somewhere.)

I canceled her car payments last week so that $430.00/mo to Ford Motor Credit will no longer be debited. If I remember correctly it is rather complicated to repossess a vehicle so they probably won’t come to take her car away until August at least.

Brighthouse Cable was never configured for automatic bill payments. The last time I paid that bill was on 5/24 for $150.00, but I don’t know if that was a payment to cover the previous month or the upcoming month.

Right now the only remaining automatic bill payments configured are:

(1) Halifax Health
She owes them several thousand dollars and is paying them $94.00/month.
(2) Household Bank Mastercard
This card — like all of her credit cards, as far as I know — has been canceled; though she still owes them quite a bit of money. It is set to automatically debit $40.00/mo.
(3) MJ Altman Companies
This is a collection agency working on behalf of the Alachua County Fire & Rescue Services to pay for an ambulance trip to the ER she made in — I think — 2008. She owes them several hundred dollars and is paying them $25.00/mo.

I have canceled the automatic bill payment to Nelnet Student Loans. She had been paying them $62.00/mo.

She has, no doubt, multiple other credit card balances and hospital bills of which I have never been informed; sadly I have no information to provide about any of them.

If you recall from our last telephone conversation, you had asked me to make sure there was at least $99.00 in her checking account so that you could pay the security deposit at the new apartment. I said that, unfortunately, there is no way for me to do that — because she spends money from that account without ever checking with me — and you would need to call me in advance so that I can transfer money. At the time of that conversation there was a little over $100 in that account. Since then she as spent about $96.00 at the pet store, $15.00 at a gas station, $12.00 at Wal-Mart, and $4.00 at Publix. That put her balance into the negative and I was forced to transfer money into it this morning from the account I use to pay her bills.

On an almost daily basis I had been pleading with her to let me know *before* she spends any money. She always promised that she understood why this was important and that she would not do it again. And then she would do it again the next day. After three or four months of this I gave up and simply do my best to check the balance each day or so to transfer money into it so that the balance isn’t negative.

Another thing to consider is that — although she was tragically fiscally unaccountable for the previous year or so — she did not start acting so completely helpless and irresponsible until (a) I insisted that I start managing her money and (b) she learned that my wife is pregnant. When you couple that with the tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills, ambulance and emergency room visits, doctor visits, and counseling she has received in the last ten years that have *all* confirmed that there is absolutely nothing wrong with her physically, and her family’s long history of *not* experiencing any sort of dementia or loss of mental faculties, it is nearly impossible to conclude anything other than that her problems are psychosomatic.

Unfortunately — a word I use depressingly frequently — if I am to believe what she tells me (which is probably unwise), we have seen little to no progress from her visits to the counselor, Andrew Garber, she has been seeing for the last three or four months. He has not returned any of my calls in months; she tells me that it is because of doctor-patient confidentiality regulations, but I have little reason to believe her. Perhaps if you call him you may be able to learn something new; or perhaps you can convince her to tell him he can talk to me (or you) about her. I have asked her a dozen times to give him permission to talk to me and, although she promises she will do so, I have yet to hear anything. His number is [redacted]. But at this point I cannot even know for sure if she has actually been seeing him. I have seen no payments deducted from her checking account to the counseling center where he works in a long time; she says it’s because he’s stopped charging her because he understands her financial hardship, but whether that is true is a mystery.

Once again I thank you sincerely for all the help you have been providing. Please let me know what you learn.

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