Kathleen A. Gagne

Kathie Gagne died 4,704 days ago.

July 16th, 2009 @ 11:10 am

Mom got a Mac in the middle of 2009. At first she really loved it but she quickly became frustrated with the differences between it and the Windows world she’d known for years. At one point we had an email exchange about configuring video chat:

From: Gagne, Kathleen
To: Gagne, David
Subject: video
Sent: July 16, 2009 11:10 AM ET

Hi, David,

Do you have video on your Mac?

I would love to chat with you for a few minutes once in a while.

I’m not sure how to do it yet, but I’ll get it!

Love you,
mom

From: Gagne, David
To: Gagne, Kathleen
Subject: video
Sent: July 16, 2009 6:54 PM ET

Yes, I do. All MacBooks have a built-in video camera.

You need to get an iChat account to use it.

Once you’ve gotten an iChat account, let me know and we can schedule a time to chat that way.

I never use iChat because I prefer to use AIM (AOL’s Instant Messenger), but I use iChat sometimes if [redacted] wants to talk to me face to face.

From: Gagne, Kathleen
To: Gagne, David
Subject: video
Sent: July 17, 2009 1:45 PM ET

i’ve been trying to get an ichat account. i’m still working on it. what’s the catch?

From: Gagne, David
To: Gagne, Kathleen
Subject: video
Sent: July 17, 2009 5:56 PM ET

to the best of my knowledge, there is no catch.

read slowly and carefully and it should be simple.

From: Gagne, Kathleen
To: Gagne, David
Subject: video
Sent: July 22, 2009 8:56 AM ET

so I could set up AIM? is it free?

let me know.

From: Gagne, David
To: Gagne, Kathleen
Subject: video
Sent: July 22, 2009 12:16 PM ET

You’re close …

First of all: All of these are free, so don’t worry about that. You do not have to pay to chat online.

Second of all: The terms “application” and “program” are synonymous.

In the past when you and I were chatting on your Windows computer, we were using Microsoft’s instant messenger service, which is MSN Messenger. You had (have) an account with Microsoft Messenger, but you won’t ever use that again because there is no Microsoft chat program for the Macintosh.

Your Mac comes with a chat program called iChat. The iChat program allows you to communicate with other people using multiple services. You can — and should — create an AOL account, which is free. Then you tell iChat what your AOL account is and you can chat using that, just like you used to do with MSN Messenger.

AOL’s chat service is called AIM, which stands for “AOL Instant Messenger”.

My AIM account is [redacted].

We only managed to get it to work once or twice, and then only when my cousin or sister helped her use Skype to do it. Of course now I dearly wish I’d been more patient with her. I would do anything to be able to see her silly smile and hear her voice again.

Hospital Bill

July 13th, 2009 @ 8:50 am

Mom emailed me in the middle of July 2009 to ask me to send a fax:

From: Gagne, Kathleen
To: Gagne, David
Subject: Re: Hospital Bill – Kathleen A. Gagne
Sent: July 13, 2009 8:50 AM PDT

David,

Please remember to fax a letter to Debra Morgan this morning at Shands Hospital. All you have to do is to let her know that you provided me with $4,100 during the summer so that I could stay in my house.

You can let her know that, unfortunately, even with your help, I will not be able to hold on to my house.

Debra’s fax number is: [redacted].

Thanks honey. I’m feeling more in control now.

I love you so much!!!!!

Let me know when you’ve sent the fax.

Love you!!!

I sent the fax a few hours later.

I Just Want to Hear Your Voice

July 9th, 2009 @ 4:41 pm

An instant messenger conversation I had with mom:

4:41:57 PM Gagne, Kathleen: hi

4:42:06 PM David: hello

4:42:30 PM Gagne, Kathleen: please call me when you are on your way home. it’s important.

4:42:36 PM David: what’s up?

4:43:16 PM Gagne, Kathleen: it’s about my house. there is no way i can keep it. i have been talking with a help counselor (non-profit) for a couple of days.

4:43:50 PM Gagne, Kathleen: I have never really been happy here. I’m going to start looking for a job in Daytona where I have more friends, and family.

4:44:08 PM Gagne, Kathleen: I’ll give you more details later.

4:44:36 PM David: there’s more? that sounds like a pretty good summary.

4:45:45 PM Gagne, Kathleen: I am going to get a realtor to try to sell it. I wouldn’t get any money out of it. I would have to surrender the deed to First Franklin, but I won’t be making any more payments.

4:46:14 PM Gagne, Kathleen: I will be looking for a job and rentals starting tomorrow.

4:46:36 PM David: that all sounds good

4:46:41 PM Gagne, Kathleen: If nothing else, [name redacted] will be driving soon, and I bet she would like to hang out with me.

4:46:53 PM David: as long as it doesn’t involve giving any money to [name redacted], this sounds like a solid plan

4:47:23 PM Gagne, Kathleen: he owes me $500 right now. he won’t be owing me any more.

4:47:31 PM David: good

4:47:51 PM Gagne, Kathleen: I’m hoping that you and [name redacted] will spend more time on the east coast.

4:48:04 PM David: so do you feel good about this plan?

4:48:38 PM Gagne, Kathleen: Yes, like I think I said above, I was never really happy in this house.

4:48:55 PM David: well then … why is it so important for me to call you?

4:49:03 PM Gagne, Kathleen: The counselor was absolutely great, and I’m pretty sure she knows what she’s doing.

4:49:14 PM Gagne, Kathleen: I just want to hear your voice.

4:49:43 PM Gagne, Kathleen: I’m heading out to Publix now. I love you.

4:50:57 PM Gagne, Kathleen: i mght look for a one-floor condo with ceramic tile and a small back yard.

4:51:12 PM David: that sounds lovely. you can probably get a good deal these days.

4:51:44 PM Gagne, Kathleen: I know. And there’s the beach and the [name redacted], and [name redacted], and [name redacted] and [name redacted].

4:53:37 PM Gagne, Kathleen: Do you really think so? It’s pretty sad when people work all their lives and end up unable to enjoy retirement. I’m hoping the economy will bounce back in a year or so. Who knows.

4:54:08 PM Gagne, Kathleen: Anyway, I love you more than you know and I hope you will come to visit more!!!

4:55:23 PM Gagne, Kathleen: I’ll be back in about half an hour.

I don’t know if I called her that night on my drive home from work. I probably did. I called her all the time, and almost always while driving home from work. Either way, at exactly eight o’clock the next morning, on Friday, July 10th, 2009, she sent me the last instant messenger message I have logged from her:

Oops! I guess I never got back to you.

Save House

June 19th, 2009 @ 11:18 am

I found three documents on mom’s old hard drive from the middle of June 2009. Apparently they are drafts of a letter she prepared for someone at a bank related to her attempt to avoid a foreclosure on her home in Gainesville, FL. They’re labeled save house 1.doc, save house 2.doc, and save house 3.doc and dated June 19^th, 2009 between two and four o’clock in the afternoon. They appear to be identical except for the formatting.

Of course I don’t know if she actually mailed a letter, but I know that the bank did foreclose on her and she was devastated when it happened.

From: Kathleen A. Gagne
To: James Black
RE: Account: [redacted]

Dear Mr. Black,

Attached are the copies of all of the forms I faxed directly to you over the last several months.

In the interim, I occasionally spoke to others on the resolution team, and I assumed that you were receiving all of the appropriate documents.

I apologize for the error.

Attached are the documents I can confirm were sent. If there are others that you need, please let me know. I understand that unemployment compensation is now a valid income according to Christina who I spoke with today.

I have attached all of the documents that I know you asked for.

Christina has informed me that, if I make a good faith payment based on an email that I should get tomorrow, we can proceed with the loan modification. She called the process a partial reinstatement.

She also advised me that I would be receiving an email detailing the exact amount needed to process the partial reinstatement.

I have been diligently looking for a job; however, there are few jobs to be had in the area. I will take any job, and would like one with benefits if I can find one.

Please review the attached pages, and let me know what else you need. I have informed Christina that I can work on the internet, and also that I can use unemployment compensation funds for the purpose of income.

I apologize for the miscommunication.

Please provide me with a list of documents that you still require. I will address them immediately.

Thank you,

Kathleen A. Gagne

Think of Me

June 15th, 2009 @ 12:00 pm

Birthdays were always a big deal for mom. I guess they are for everybody, of course, but mom was really over the top about them. She loved throwing us birthday parties and was a fantastic baker of cakes. When I was 3,000 miles away she would send me cards for days leading up to my birthday and – even though she pretty much never had any money – always managed to send multiple gifts. This is a card she sent me a couple of weeks before my 36th birthday.

Florida Department of Financial Services

June 11th, 2009 @ 9:47 am

I found this letter that mom wrote on her old Dell computer hard drive. For some reason I think it is very funny. It reminds me of the old joke about the man at Yankee Stadium who keeps missing key plays in the game because he hears someone yelling, “Hey! Bob!” until he finally screams back, “Goddammit! My name’s not Bob!”

June 11, 2009

Mr. Alex Sink
Florida Department of Financial Services
Bureau of Unclaimed Property
P.O. Box 1910

Dear Mr. Sink,

I have been receiving these letters for nine years. I have repeatedly indicated that Daniel Lawrence Gagner is not a relative of mine or any other member of my family.

If Mr. Gagner is alive and eligible to receive unclaimed property, you should be looking for him in another venue.

I have never opened one of your letters, but I have repeatedly written notes on the outside of the envelopes stating that Daniel Gagner is not residing at this address and is not a relative of ours. I have asked the post office to redirect the letters to the appropriate party.

Please stop sending letters to Daniel Gagner at this address. Just because our names sound alike does not mean that we are related. If, however, you can prove that there is a family connection and there is something of value belonging to the GAGNES, please address the next letter to:

The Gagne Residence
[redacted]

Thank you for sending a response to this letter indicating that you have determined that there is no family relationship (or that there is a family relationship) and that we can settle the matter once and for all.

Yours,

Kathleen A. Gagne and Family

Thank You

June 9th, 2009 @ 12:00 pm

It’s a shame that we don’t write as many letters these days. I try to write my surviving (paternal) grandmother at least once each month, but she’s the exception. I write dozens of emails, tweets, and status updates every single day. They’re mostly meaningless.

Every letter I ever received from mom – even just a short thank you note like this – is meaningful.

Slippers

May 27th, 2009 @ 11:06 am

My mom liked to crochet. I never really knew if she actually enjoyed it or if she simply did it because she was trying to continue a family tradition; her mother, my grandmother, Nana Anna, used to crochet all the time. Mom was working on a blanket for my son shortly before the events of Thanksgiving 2011, which led to her institutionalization and eventual death. I wonder what happened to that. I wonder how much progress she made on it, whether she ever finished, and where it is.

She used to make me slippers in University of Florida orange & blue. One time she shipped them to my office instead of to my house, and some of the guys at work — UCLA fans — jokingly asked for their own pairs. Or maybe my mom simply made a pair for my good friend for Christmas or something and then my other friend at work got jealous of those. I can’t remember exactly. I sent my mom this email in late May of 2009:

Mom,

[name redacted] — the President of [my company] — is asking where his UCLA booties are. You said you would send him some because he got jealous of [name redacted].

I love you,

She replied at 6:13 PM — which would have been 9:13 PM for her — with:

I think I can handle booties. Same size as yours?

Love you!!!!!

And at 8:58 PM I responded:

No! I keep telling you that you always make mine too big!

Just a little bit smaller …

I love you.

She always made mine exactly the same size as my shoe size, which was great, except every time you wash a pair of crocheted slippers the yarn stretches. So after just one or two washes they would be like gigantic clown slippers. I kept asking her to make them a few sizes too small, but she never remembered to do that.

Enterprise

May 20th, 2009 @ 9:20 am

About a year after being laid off from her job at Americorps, mom applied for a position at Enterprise, the car rental company. I remember that they called her for an interview, and when I talked to her about it she felt like it went well. But she didn’t get the job and was very disappointed.

Here is the cover letter she sent with her resume, which I found on her old computer a few months after she died:

May 20, 2009

To Whom It May Concern:

I am pleased to provide you with information regarding my skills, particularly in the area of customer service, training, and developing great teams.

Over the last twenty plus years, I have been working in the areas of Customer Service and Customer Service training and development.

I am skilled in bringing teams together and creating opportunities for those who work with me to become more than their whole.

You will have seen from my resume that I was a Team Leader with First Data, handling incoming calls for Sprint. At First Data, I eventually became one of the trainers, and I developed a short form to measure specific skills.

At Cox Communications, I was tasked with hiring, training, and growing teams. During my tenure there, I was asked to turn a customer service team into a sales team. At first, the CSRs were hesitant because they were not used to selling; however, in their first year of sales, our team sold more than the original sales team.

During my seven years In the Alachua County School District, I was recognized for developing an AmeriCorps team that was specifically geared to helping underachieving readers to reach their goals. This is relevant to a call center environment because it included recruiting, hiring, training, and growing great tutors.

Great customer service is a must in any environment, but it is especially critical in an environment where voice and manner are the only touches.

I am happy to provide you with my resume, and I believe that my skills will prove to be an asset to Enterprise.

Cordially,

Kathleen A. Gagne

Loan Mod.doc

April 24th, 2009 @ 12:28 pm

On April 24th, 2009, mom wrote a letter to someone named Mr. Black regarding the mortgage on her home in Gainesville, FL. She was crushed when the bank eventually foreclosed on it.

April 24, 2009

Dear Mr. Black,

I am writing to you regarding my loan #XXXXXXXXXX.

I was working with someone from your team on a loan modification. The last I heard was that they were working on starting the modification. At that time, I was not working, and your associate said that they could do a modification using unemployment compensation as income. I thought that was a little strange, but I hoped it would work.

I am starting a new job Monday, and I will be able to cover my bills and put some money in savings as well. It will be tight for a while, but I expect that my part-time work online will bring in at least $100 to $300 per week.

My monthly bills come to about $900, and I am also planning to work on the internet at least three nights a week.

When I work online, I can make more than I make on my job.

I am certain that you have received all of the information I faxed to you about six weeks ago. If there is any more information that you need, please let me know.

I really don’t want to lose my home, and I believe I can manage to make enough money to save it, especially if you come through with a loan modification.

Thank you for your time and help.

Kathleen A. Gagne