Kathleen A. Gagne

Kathie Gagne died 4,641 days ago.

May 26th, 2004 @ 9:19 am

I got a new apartment a few years after I moved to Los Angeles and, like she always did any time I moved, mom sent me several cards and letters at my new address so I’d have mail and wouldn’t be lonely.

It breaks my heart almost every day that I have no recordings of her voice, but I do at least have hundreds of samples of her handwriting, which I adore. In this card she wrote:

5/26/04

Hi, David,

I just wanted to congratulate you on finding a new apartment. I plan to see it as soon as I possibly can!

I hope that all your days there are filled with hopes realized and dreams that come true.

Given that this is just a little schmaltzy – have a heck of a great time in your new digs!

Lots of Love,

Mom

A Little Low

May 15th, 2004 @ 12:05 pm

May 15

I asked you for a psalm about the new song. And you knew I was a little low and gave me something about today, followed by one about song. (Psalm 80:7-19, 81:1-10)

Gator Fans

December 7th, 2003 @ 7:32 am

This is so sweet. While I was looking through my mom’s “sent items” in her Yahoo! mail account, I found an email she sent to Pat Dooley, the long-time sportswriter for the Gainesville Sun.

The subject line is “Florida/FSU Editorial Cartoon”:

Dear Mr. Dooley,

A friend of mine just told me about the wonderful cartoon that accompanied your article about the UF/FSU game and the incompetency of the ACC officials.

I was wondering if there is any way I can get a copy of that cartoon to send to my son in Los Angeles. He’s a major Gator fan, and we’re on the phone together during every game!

I went to the Sun website, but I couldn’t figure out a way to pull up the cartoon. I really sounds like a classic and I would love to see it myself as well as to share it with my two Gators.

Thanks, have a great week!
kathie gagne

I don’t think he ever replied, but just the fact that she wrote that email makes me want to cry.

My Life Is Going to Change

November 10th, 2003 @ 12:00 pm

I found this note that my mom wrote to herself. It’s one of the rare instances in which she dated something she wrote. It reads:

My life is going to change this week. I talk about positive, realistic, rational affirmation having a physiological response. The only time I lost a significant amount of weight and came within three pounds of my goal was whe I read “The Power of Positive Thinking.”

This time, I think I will have the right tools at hand to ensure that the weight loss will be permanent.

I can already envision feeling light and strong. I can already smell success.

I need to remember what it took to get through college in my late 40s. I need to remember the focus and the determination and the confidence of success I had then.

Wal-Mart Benches

November 8th, 2003 @ 9:28 pm

I found a file on mom’s old computer hard drive named Wal-Mart Benches Letter.doc and dated November 8th, 2003. It looks like mom helped her mother write a letter to the manager of the Wal-Mart near the assisted living facility where Nana was living at the time. Nana was such an activist! I wonder if they ever got their benches …

Anne S. Albanese
Residents’ Council President
Peridot Place
252 Forest Lake Boulevard
Daytona Beach, Florida 32119

November 8, 2003

Ms. Tina Hopkins
Manager
Wal-Mart
1101 Beville Road
Daytona Beach, Florida 32119

Dear Ms. Hopkins:

The residents of Peridot Place, an assisted living center, would like to submit a request that you place one or more benches in front of the new Wal-Mart Superstore at the above address. Many of us come to Wal-Mart regularly to shop, and we appreciate the use of wheelchairs and motorized scooters that enable us to shop in comfort..

When we come out to wait for the Votran bus, however, many of us would benefit from being able to sit while we wait, especially if we do not have our own wheelchairs.

At a recent meeting, we discussed how convenient it is to come to your store because you have virtually everything we need, and having benches would make it perfect.

Thank you for considering our request. Please let me know what I can tell the fifty residents who are waiting for your decision.

Sincerely,

Anne S. Albanese

Saturday 9/13/03

September 13th, 2003 @ 12:00 pm

It’s been forever since I wrote last. Lots of things have stayed the same, some have changed.

I didn’t have the colonoscopy in November. It was much later than that and it was okay. Now I’m facing a D&C, ugh, because my uterine wall has thickened. She doesn’t think she’ll find anything, but she wants to be sure.

Jen’s been away since June 26. She’s coming home for my birthday, but she’s only planning to stay a week.

Neither Jen nor David has a clue about just how much I hurt because they’re so far away. When David comes home at Christmas, it will have been a whole year since I saw him last.

Whey did they both have to go so far away? Why do none of my dreams come true? Why am I so alone and so fat?

Sr. Fran died Feb. 11.
Kathleen A. Gagne

alesys letter.doc

July 9th, 2003 @ 12:15 am

July 9, 2003

Ms. Marnie Feasel
Alesys Corporation
Progress Center
Gainesville, Florida

Dear Marnie,

Thank you for contacting me regarding the Editor/Production Team Leader position you have available at this time. I am very interested in talking with you about this opportunity and will be happy to discuss your needs and my qualifications some time within the next week at your convenience.

I have attached an updated resume as you requested. You will note that I added experienced website copywriter to my qualifications. I have worked online for a Los Angeles based company for approximately one year and was recently recognized as “Copywriter of the Month” for June. This was the first award given, and I am very pleased to have received both the recognition and the award.

Again, thank you for considering my qualifications. I hope to hear from you soon.

Cordially,

Kathie Gagne

from a file named alesys letter.doc found on mom’s old computer hard drive

Stands the Entire Game. Never Leaves Early.

July 4th, 2003 @ 9:18 am

7/4/03

David,

This was actually in the bag with your Gator stuff. I almost threw it away and then I realized it was a postcard. Anyway, I thought you might like it. Hope you liked the silly Gator stuff …

The neighbors are setting off lots of fireworks. That used to drive Reebok crazy!

Anyway (oops!) love you lots, Mom

I love this postcard. I’ve had it hanging on the refrigerator of every place I’ve lived since she sent it. I forgot that it had a message written on the reverse until a few months ago. Heck, I’d even forgotten it was from mom. She loved Spurrier as much as I do.

I can’t remember exactly, but based on the date I think she sent me a bunch of Gator t-shirts and hats for my 30th birthday that year and that’s what she means by, “your Gator stuff.”

My son is three now and he frequently points to it and says, “Daddie!” and “Go Gators!” which I think would make her laugh.

Hello Again

June 19th, 2003 @ 10:52 am

An email mom wrote to her longtime friend and confidant, Sister Carol Mary Morrison:

From: Gagne, Kathleen
To: Sister Carol Mary Morrison
Subject: Hello Again
Sent: June 19, 2003 1:52 PM

Hi, Carol,

Maybe we should be email pals! All is well except that Jen is moving to Chicago in a week and David is living in Los Angeles…aarrgghh! A single mother’s worst nightmare…

A friend said it was because I raised them with enough independence to leave the nest. She wasn’t counting on the empty nest when they went to college, so I’m having deja vu, all over again.

My job is great! I love making a difference for a couple of hundred kids a year!!! And I love the people I work with. The only thing is that I miss the ocean.
I’m a couple of hours away now, and that means no long walks, etc. I’ll probably move back in that direction around this time next year.

Unless I migrate to Lake Michigan…

(I love elipses!)

Jen has been dragging me to church lately. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt anything remotely like faith. I told Fran about it years ago, and she said she wasn’t worried about me because she knew God hadn’t given up on me…

Had a colonoscopy today and I apparently have gorgeous intestines! Yea!

David’s girlfriend is taking him to Hawaii today for his 30th birthday which is June 26. Sheesh. Of course, they live in LA, but 10 days in Hawaii is still pretty wild. It’s funny, but he thought she was taking him to Florida and that Jen and I would be meeting them at Disney World. He even thought that my colonoscopy was part of a ruse… He’s pretty family oriented.

So, how is everyone there? It felt funny to talk to Jake for a couple of minutes when I was there last summer. He barely wanted to talk, as if he couldn’t or didn’t want to remember who I was. Fran had mentioned that he had some “troubles” a few years ago.

What about Ray and Jude? I really wish I had had a chance to see him when I was there? How is Helen doing? Where is she living? She must miss Fran a lot, too. Althea ok? And that wonderful lady who was living with you whose name I always blank on? (Tough to get older, but, then, I was never really good with names.)

I assume you’re still crazy busy and loving it…

So, if you ever get it into your head to vacation in Florida, I have room and would love to have you. I get lots of time off from my current job — about 50 days a year! — so just let me know, and I’ll change the sheets on the spare bed…

Anyway, have a great weekend. Thanks for writing.

kathie

Courage

June 16th, 2003 @ 12:00 pm

Mom sent me a greeting card with this note ten days before my 30th birthday.