Kathie Gagne died 4,756 days ago.
November, 1998
Jen has been unbelievable these past few months. Who knew, when she offered to come home for a while to take care of Mom that it would evolve into virtually a full-time job for seven months?
This journal entry is dated simply “November, 1998” so I’m tagging it as November 1st for archiving.
May 1, 1998
I gave Jen her At At for graduation. She played with it for a while. (At her apt, just Jen & Mandy & me) Then, I said I thought it might be a pretty silly graduation gift from her silly Mom. She hugged me and said, “You’re not silly – you’re perfect.”
Took Jen back to Gainesville yesterday. Spent several hours watching football with David, Jen, George, Sylvia, Mom & Ron. David told me today that Ron was very impressed that we would do that, that no one in his family would go to him and just relax and spend time together.
from a journal entry titled “January 5, 1998”
Mom wrote this journal entry about thirteen years before I eventually became a father myself. I don’t recall the email she references, but it certainly sounds like something I would have said. Like all parents – all people, really – mom had many problems, issues, whatever you want to call them. But she was an incredible parent. I wish she’d written a longer entry on that late December day.
December 21, 1997 (Driving Jen home from Gainesville)
Jen and I were goofing about what tape to listen to, and she decided to look for one with “Oh, Holy Night” on it. The only version we had was awful.
I was driving, and she asked me to sing it, so I did. I missed a couple of the very high notes, but I think I got most of it. When I was done, I asked her why she hadn’t sung along. (Or maybe it was just before.) Anyway, she said she didn’t know the words.
She said I kicked ass singing it and asked me to sing it again. She was smiling. She clapped and said again that I kicked ass. I thanked her. She said she really liked my voice.
For a long time Mom worked at a company in Daytona Beach named Arch Communications. Arch had originally been named InterLink and it was – basically – a beeper company. (I worked in their Gainesville office for a few years, too, during college.)
On October 14, 2022 – what would have been her father’s 104th birthday – I found this printed email from Mom tucked into an old file folder. Juno was a free email service that was around for a while at the end of the last century. I must have convinced her to sign up for it. At this point I am no longer sure who the S was supposed to represent, although I suspect it was a pet. I’ll have to ask Jenny.
4 Aug 1997
my dearest david,
I just signed up for juno/thanks. I guess my new address will show when you get this, but let me explain. kathiedjs – guess who the s stands for!lately, i seem to just say “i love you” a lot. I haven’t always got the words to tell you how full my heart is and how much i wish for you all the wonderful things that life has to offer. i hope for you [***] to be happy and more, to be peaceful, to know joy, to know what it means to love and nurture a child (or six). i hope to be around to share that joy and help with the trials if you need me. you always have my heart, my love.
david, i am so proud of you, not for what you do, but for who you are.
wherever you go, whatever you do, that will never change.
6/3/97
Tuesday
Today I’m starting my Daffy Duck Diary. I’m going to write every day, just a few lines maybe, longhand, no less. I’m going to write about weight and food and feelings and actions.
And in a while I may understand why I am the way I am, why I feel the way I feel, why I look the way I look.
Why I hurt the way I hurt.
I had seven months to lose weight before David’s Disney wedding. Instead, I have gained.
In 1994 mom returned to school to finish her degree. She went to UCF and got her BA in 1998 at the age of 50. She was incredibly proud of this accomplishment, and we were all very proud of her, too.
She submitted a paper for ANT 3422 on December 3, 1996 titled Gagne, A Personal “Ethnography” which she printed and mailed to me. It’s an interesting view into her own version of her history.
Mom worked for InterLink Paging in Daytona Beach and got me a job in the Gainesville office while I was at the University of Florida. Starting in my second year, I worked there for 39 hours/week, and after I graduated they asked me to go full time. Mom was very happy about the idea of me having a full-time job (and benefits) and sent me a card with this note inside. Enclosed was a bill for my car insurance.