Well, Father, today, so far, has been a pretty good day. Notice how I’m almost afraid to even say that? Why? I guess I’m just so —— that when I’m suffering I won’t like it; can’t quite feel your love; can’t quite see your plan. I get mad at you because I don’t understand you. I can’t see what you want from me or why my cross seems to be so hard. You offered comfort, a light burden and you offered peace. Where are these things for me? Why must I be consumed with fear? Am I doing something wrong? But, I thought you didn’t punish here on earth. Am I not praying enough? Why is it so hard to pray? To even think of you often brings only suffering. Why? Am I supposed to be like Job? Me? Oh, father, I’m afraid of losing the faith you gave me. I fear that you would allow that to happen. Is that only because I don’t know your love very well? Or has it happened? Have I, in some way already offended you beyond reparation? Father, do you want me to receive the sacrament of peace; is that part of it? But, I don’t understand. There are so many things I don’t understand. Boy! You’ve really got to show me. I can’t do any of it on my own. Or, is that where I’ve failed? Should I be doing something on my own? No. I still don’t think so. You said to give all our problems to you. Please – help me. And I should also say, thank you for helping me. I know you already have and you already are. I guess I’m just impatient. If I were suddenly delivered of this fear, I might not learn all you want me to learn from it. That sounds like a pretty good reason; I wonder if it’s yours. Hmm.
I guess I’ll be getting to mass now. I really have enjoyed talking to you this while; I hope I’ve listened a little too. Praise you, Father!