Went to Daytona with Jen. It’s really great to have the time with her and to see Nic & Amber, but Mom can get so nasty sometimes. It’s as if all she ever wants to do is tell me all the bad things in her life. And she seems mad. I guess it could be me, but I feel so miserable when I’m with her. I guess I blame her for a lot of the bad things in my life — like my weight and my lack of a healthy relationship with a man. I guess that’s another thing I need to discuss with Susan.
I’m having a problem breathing all of a sudden again. Is it stress? I think I’ve lost a few pounds, but I had coffee twice today and a little soda with caffeine and some malted milk balls. And there was probably a lot of smoke at Dic’s.
I shouldn’t stay up this late or play Scrabble this long. Maybe it’s because of the yardwork yesterday.
I need a job — and who knows if I’ll get one after WTC. And I need to stop stressing — funny — WTC, breathing, no job, uncertainty, David far away. 53rd birthday coming — sure — don’t stress!
Kathleen A. Gagne