Jen keeps telling me to write — my book. I believe this is the absolute, very first time anyone has ever encouraged me like that unless Jen herself did it in high school.

She is so unbelievable! Wonderful! She’s all the things I ever wanted to be. She’s her own woman, too. Strong and tender, smart, funny, kind, independent, Beautiful.

I just heard some birds singing right outside my bedroom window. It was the cardinal family that’s been living here, probably since before I moved in. This time, I was actually able to go get my camera and take three pictures of the male from less than 6 feet away. The female was up a little higher in the bush, but her colors are harder to distinguish among the leaves. (There’s a fact of life – hehe). They’re still singing. The male is fat.

Yesterday, I saw an accident scene on the noon news. It was a semi on a freeway, actually sitting on top of a couple of cars. I think they said 25 cars were involved. There was a lot of very serious injuries and one person died, and there were still people trapped under the semi. And, right in the middle of the mess was a little red pickup truck, shiny, and smashed. I called David, just to make sure he was okay. He didn’t even mind — the accident was pretty far from where he was, but he was on his way to work and caught in its traffic.

Susan asked me yesterday if I wanted to experiment with EMDR, a therapy that’s being used for phobias, like flying, or claustrophobia! I need to think about it. I’m such a control freak about my life. It’s funny, but I’ve told her I feel stuck lately, like I can’t or don’t want to do anything, but it’s more that I’ve been stuck in my fears for a long time. I really need to get out of this. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to figure out what I want to do professionally or be able to travel and really live life if I don’t. I think the seeds are there, the desire, but the fear is there, too.
Kathleen A. Gagne