So, back to my life as it is.
This is such a remarkable time with Jen, but she’s leaving Wednesday, going to Chicago for at least until the end of October. And going on the Trail again in a couple of weeks. How can I be so proud of her and so scared for her at the same time? She is beautiful and wonderful, and so much more than even I imagined, just flawed enough not to be scary. But perfectly wonderful.
Missed another birthday of David’s. He called me on his way to work and very late that night, and Jen and I both spoke with him. Last night, Jen said she’s already stressing about where he’ll be on his 30th next year. I said he’d better be with us, but who can know.
Victoria called me last night. Of course I was just thinking about her a few days ago. I saw a clock repair shop and thought about Theo (who repairs them), and I thought, “She hasn’t called me. She never does.” And I wrote her off.
So, last night she called and said she had been thinking about me lately, and did I want to have lunch? So we started talking and laughing. She told me she got a new car and I told her about the “funky road trip” and going to WTC. She said, with great emotion, “I’m so glad this happened for you.” over and over again. It made me cry.
A few minutes later, in some context, I said that I never feel as if I’m good enough.
Then she said it was because I was so unique and special and incredible that people don’t know what to do with me. I’m not sure how to take that, but I’m pretty sure she meant it as a compliment.
She invited me to join her and Theo at her place in the woods, ugh, for 4th of July, and said she would check out the fireworks prospects in Micanopy.
It’s 9:00 am, and Jen’s still sleeping. It’s supposed to be rainy today, and it sure looks that way right now. We’re going to see “Spider Man”. I can’t stand it that she’ll be out of town so long. But I am so lucky to have her in my life.
Blessed? With my incredible children (adults)? Maybe. They certainly are beyond incredible!
Kathleen A. Gagne