Kathleen A. Gagne

Kathie Gagne died 4,642 days ago.

July 23rd, 2002 @ 9:48 am

A year or two after I moved to Los Angeles, I started a company with a few other guys. We developed web sites for small businesses and at one point had hundreds of independent contractors working as copywriters for us. Mom was one of our best writers and I was very happy to help her supplement her income by writing for us at home in the evenings. She really was an excellent writer.

Here is an email exchange between us from when she was first getting started:

From: Gagne, Kathleen
To: Gagne, David
Subject: W9
Sent: July 23, 2002 12:48 PM ET

Good Morning

I’ve been trying to fax the W9 to [redacted] all day, and it keeps saying it’s busy.

I can’t get Microsoft Messenger at work. It’s blocked because they said the school board can’t afford as much sophisticated protection as private businesses and Microsoft “gets the most viruses.”

Anyway, can you email me at gagneka@sbac.edu if there’s another fax number I can use?

Love ya,
Mom

From: Gagne, David
To: Gagne, Kathleen
Subject: re: W9
Sent: July 23, 2002 12:50 PM ET

sure … you can use [redacted]

your administrators are buffoons.
you are a million – nay! a Billion! – times more likely to get a virus from outlook email than from microsoft messenger.
so just load up ICQ! you can either download and install the full version of ICQ like you have at home (http://www.icq.com/) or you can use a “web version” at http://go.icq.com/ if they won’t let you install software on the PC you’re using now.

David Vincent Gagne

From: Gagne, Kathleen
To: Gagne, David
Subject: Re: W9
Sent: July 23, 2002 2:11 PM ET

david,
you realize you should just speak out and say what you mean!!!! haha!!

i guess i’ll try the icq when i have some time

the fax says it went through ok, so am i on the contract payroll?

i found a dog by the side of the road off 53rd st this morning – it’s a very small terrier mix or maybe a corgi – very pudgy and very trusting. i had animal control pick him up, so now i have to find someone who can take him. i’ll probably be crying most of the day…..

i love you,
mom

From: Gagne, David
To: Gagne, Kathleen
Subject: re: W9
Sent: July 23, 2002 2:40 PM ET

yup! we got it and you are now a contract employee! w00t!

I’m sorry about the doggie. :o(
What do you mean I should say what I mean? I do!

From: Gagne, Kathleen
To: Gagne, David
Subject: Re: W9
Sent: July 23, 2002 2:47 PM ET

I was being ironic….. i love you

is my boss sending me any work today?

this is different from the one you saw in the yard – this one will be put down because of my actions if i can’t come up with another option for him…….

i love you

Tony Robbins

July 21st, 2002 @ 12:00 pm

I was watching Home Shopping Network (or one like it) and feeling pretty down. Tony Robbins came on. It was funny. He was selling his program, and I wanted to call and give him a hard time for selling it instead of giving it away.

And then I realized that I had it, the whole thing, on disc, from Barbara, so I listened to the first part. I’m going to listen to it again tomorrow. And then again. Until I can turn my life around.

Jen’s back in Chicago. David is in Music Biz. I miss them both terribly, but I’m doing okay. I’m alone in town and I’m living a life that’s mine.

I had Amber and Nic here from 10:00 Saturday until noon today. It was great fun.

I need to find time for me — to figure out what I really want. I’m going to start out by feeling grateful.
Kathleen A. Gagne

Life As It Is

June 29th, 2002 @ 12:00 pm

So, back to my life as it is.

This is such a remarkable time with Jen, but she’s leaving Wednesday, going to Chicago for at least until the end of October. And going on the Trail again in a couple of weeks. How can I be so proud of her and so scared for her at the same time? She is beautiful and wonderful, and so much more than even I imagined, just flawed enough not to be scary. But perfectly wonderful.

Missed another birthday of David’s. He called me on his way to work and very late that night, and Jen and I both spoke with him. Last night, Jen said she’s already stressing about where he’ll be on his 30th next year. I said he’d better be with us, but who can know.

Victoria called me last night. Of course I was just thinking about her a few days ago. I saw a clock repair shop and thought about Theo (who repairs them), and I thought, “She hasn’t called me. She never does.” And I wrote her off.

So, last night she called and said she had been thinking about me lately, and did I want to have lunch? So we started talking and laughing. She told me she got a new car and I told her about the “funky road trip” and going to WTC. She said, with great emotion, “I’m so glad this happened for you.” over and over again. It made me cry.

A few minutes later, in some context, I said that I never feel as if I’m good enough.

Then she said it was because I was so unique and special and incredible that people don’t know what to do with me. I’m not sure how to take that, but I’m pretty sure she meant it as a compliment.

She invited me to join her and Theo at her place in the woods, ugh, for 4th of July, and said she would check out the fireworks prospects in Micanopy.

It’s 9:00 am, and Jen’s still sleeping. It’s supposed to be rainy today, and it sure looks that way right now. We’re going to see “Spider Man”. I can’t stand it that she’ll be out of town so long. But I am so lucky to have her in my life.

Blessed? With my incredible children (adults)? Maybe. They certainly are beyond incredible!
Kathleen A. Gagne

The Journey Home

June 22nd, 2002 @ 12:00 pm

It seems as if the trip went by in the blink of an eye.

Fran felt really sick / tired on Saturday. She and I met for breakfast at the Early Bird Cafe/Diner next to St. Patrick’s. I had blueberry pancakes, full of RI blueberries, tart and sweet. Fran and I had a great talk, as usual, and then I walked her home so she could rest on the couch.

A 90-year-old couple had called to ask if someone could bring them lunch. Fran was planning to go, but Helen and I overrode her. Helen was a delight; she kept up a running narrative of who was where doing what.

After we delivered the dinner, I left to go visit Cousin Sophie and Ann Marie. I had lentil soup and coffee and dessert. I really enjoyed the visit, and Sophie invited Jen and me to stay there Sunday.

When I left her house I went down Branch Ave. and took pictures of Hugo’s Barber Shop and Branch Ave. School. Then I realized I couldn’t go by Chatham St. without stopping in.

I recognized the house right away. It had new yellow vinyl siding since I had last seen it and nice new screen doors on the front. I decided not to go to the back because I didn’t want to scare anyone. So I rand both front doorbells. (It was funny — I didn’t remember the stone steps from the street being about 18″ wide. Later, Auntie Olga told me the neighbors had done it!)

After a few minutes without a response, I was getting ready to leave when Auntie Olga came around the corner and asked who I was looking for. I said, “Auntie Olga …” and she got all excited, just like they always do.

So I visited with her and Auntie Gilda (who cried a lot and who looks just like Daddy). Auntie Olga even gave me a picture of Mom and Dad that I had never seen before.

Then I went back to Fran’s, and Helen and I went to Tommy’s Pizzeria on Charleston Avenue to get Grinders (meatball). After we ate, we talked for a little while and looked at pictures from the day before and then I went back to the rectory and got to bed early.

I felt great! Loved and peaceful and very much at home.

I barely recognized the streets at first, and everything was smaller than I remembered, streets, buildings, even the Capitol. But I knew the names and, even though a lot of buildings and businesses had changed, I kept spotting things I recognized and that felt great. I actually made my way around pretty well.

I still can’t believe I got to see Fran and have Jen and David there!

It was great to see Carol Mary again, too. She is really a terrific lady and unbearably beautiful at 66! I also met Rayleen Gianatti and loved her at once. She’s a perfect fit for the House of Faith. I hope I helped her to see how beautiful she is.

Sunday I went to church at St. Pat’s. I don’t really like the design they used in the old school hall, but it still felt great to be there. I only saw a few people I knew. Charlie & Pat Andrade, Ray McMahon, Patty.

Later, I had time to myself so I went to visit with Mary Pires. It was great! I just walked up to the front door and she recognized me right away. Joe was upstairs sleeping, but Mary and I talked as if it hadn’t been twenty years.

Then I went and drove around Warwick. I visited Wyman Elementary and the funeral parlor and Lakeside Avenue. Auntie Vi has moved away and our old house looks awful!

And, again, everything looks smaller. I can’t believe I sat on those broken steps and looked out over that tiny lawn and contemplated life and the universe. The mailbox Daddy nailed near the front door was still there, but so little else remained …

That night I drove to Portsmouth to pick up Jen, and I got to see David again! It was weird being in Bill and Debbie’s house on their wedding night. And my heart broke [redacted] (but that’s for another time).

It was so great just to be with David again.

And my beautiful, wonderful Jen and I went back to the rectory to spend the night.

Monday was a dream day with Jen. We had breakfast at the Early Bird and then headed for Warwick. I took her to the four schools I attended there, to Lakeside Avenue, and even inside Trainor’s Funeral Parlor. We just walked up the front stairs, and I asked if I could show the house to my daughter because I had lived there. We even were allowed upstairs — there were coffins in my bedroom!

At Pilgrim High, when I asked if we could look around, one of the women working there asked if Jen was going to be a student next year. We had a lot of laughs about that one! Even as a transferring senior, she would be 10 years too old.

We even went down Tidewater Drive to Grove Ave. and saw the two houses I had lived in. We drove by Greene elementary and then went to Conimicut Point and sat on the beach eating frozen lemonade. Talk about a long walk down memory lane!

After that, we went back up West Shore Road to Hoxie Four Corners. There’s still a Dunkin’ Donuts there in the same building! We went looking for antiques at the Gateway Plaza, and I had been there for quite a while before I realized what it was. My doctor when I was a teenager had his office on the second floor there.

Speaking of which, Dr. Silverman’s building is still there and Newport Creamery and the brown and tan house on the corner of Warwick Avenue and Narragansett Parkway.

We had lunch at the Atwood Grill near the airport (which I totally didn’t recognize — except the old buildings on Airport Road). Then we went to their house for dessert and after that to Keith’s. All was great fun! It was a great day.

We spent that night at Cousin Sophie’s and left from there Tuesday morning. I got really dizzy at our first stop, but Jen let me sleep a while and, by the time we got to New York City, I was much better.

We stopped to see Tara and got to see the World Trade Center at ground level. More about that later.

The rest of the trip home was great. We only hit rain when we were almost home.

What a gift Jen gave me! What a delight to be with her! And how nice to remember the person I used to be …
Kathleen A. Gagne

Ground Zero

June 18th, 2002 @ 9:46 am

Jen and I were able to stand on ground zero because Tara knew where to go. Many of the buildings were wrapped in metal mesh to keep falling debris off people working below. There was still a lot of activity there, including heavy equipment moving “stuff.”

Dairy Freeze

June 16th, 2002 @ 4:54 pm

“The Dairy Freeze has been there on Conimicut Road forever, or 53 years if you want to believe the sign. We used to stop there all the time and get banana splits for about $.50. They also had great lemonade.”

Uncle Dic and Auntie Gloria

June 16th, 2002 @ 3:58 pm

“Uncle Dic and Auntie Gloria — he’s Nana’s only remaining brother — she has a glass eye. They used to scare me because they always seemed so perfect and Uncle Dic was very stern, but I had a great time seeing them and really felt a lot of affection for them.”

from left to right: Jennifer Gagne, Uncle Dic, Auntie Gloria

Aldrich Junior High School

June 16th, 2002 @ 1:39 pm

At Aldrich Junior High School, I was in another play and had a great time. Went to ballroom dancing classes once a week. Still in accelerated program and did very well. Crushes on teachers, but no boyfriends.

Warwick

June 16th, 2002 @ 12:00 pm

The house in Warwick I pretty much grew up in (10-18). It looked so much nicer when Papa was taking care of it. The lawn and gardens were great.

Papa put up this mailbox.
I almost swiped it.

St. Patrick’s Church

June 16th, 2002 @ 11:17 am

St. Patrick’s Church in the school auditorium. We used to set up a couple of hundred chairs and have prayer meetings once a week. There was incredible music and lots of love. People were committed to making the depressed neighborhood better by bringing the Word of God to the people. Thus the Word of God community was born.