Wasted Days
October 15th, 2001 @ 12:00 pm

On TV, Almanzo Wilder just said, “I don’t want to waste a day.” How many days have I wasted? Kathleen A. Gagne

Auburn
October 13th, 2001 @ 6:00 pm

The Gators lost to Auburn today, effectively taking them out of the running for the national championship. It was an awful game, as if another team showed up … Jen was really upset. I assume David was, too, because I couldn’t reach him after the game. I guess I’ll call him early tomorrow. I worry […]

Introspection
October 13th, 2001 @ 12:00 pm

I tried it today. I sat and thought about myself as a child. The scenes that came easily were the times I felt along (in a closet hiding with the money, in my bed on Lakeside, writing at my rolltop desk, in my big room at Nana’s). And I tried to reach out to that […]

Cherish the Child
October 12th, 2001 @ 12:00 pm

It’s been weird lately — and scary. There has been anthrax in Florida and New York — one at a sleazy newspaper office and 1 at 30 Rock — the NBC studio. I had “bad” dreams about David last night and didn’t get much sleep and, when I called David today, he sounded all stuffed. […]

Goals
September 30th, 2001 @ 12:00 pm

On the way home from Daytona last week, I thought about making a list of the most important things I want to do this year. As usual, I forgot to do it, so, a week later, here’s a start — I want a man in my life I want to lose some weight I want […]

The Meaning of Life
September 28th, 2001 @ 12:00 pm

I had my first interview yesterday with a small company called BCN, Associates. I’m still not exactly sure what the job entails (neither are they), and I was really nervous about it, but I think it went very well. Apparently, they found my resume very impressive, and I’m pretty sure they really liked me. Weird. […]

How do they bear it?
September 25th, 2001 @ 12:00 pm

I got a call early this morning for an interview with BCN Associates. It sounded really good when I sent my resume in, but now I’m really nervous about it. I haven’t got a clue whether I’m remotely qualified for it either. I got my hair cut and drove by the building. It’s the Seagle […]

Questions
September 19th, 2001 @ 12:00 pm

Went for the biopsy today. It wasn’t bad but it was a lot more complicated and real than I had expected. Got some good stuff from Susan. I was wondering — why have I always had so much trouble figuring out what I want to do or what would make me happy? What is that […]

Stress
September 17th, 2001 @ 12:00 pm

Went to Daytona with Jen. It’s really great to have the time with her and to see Nic & Amber, but Mom can get so nasty sometimes. It’s as if all she ever wants to do is tell me all the bad things in her life. And she seems mad. I guess it could be […]

Catastrophizing
September 16th, 2001 @ 12:00 pm

I need to talk to Susan about catastrophizing. I know that my feelings are being colored by hours & hours of watching the WTC news and concern for the future. I know I’m certainly only one of millions. I can hear it in David’s voice — what I wouldn’t give to see his face, his […]