“Letters to Mom”

One of her journals I found is titled “Letters to Mom”. It’s a collection of letters she wrote to her mother — my “Nana Anna” — starting about four months after her death.

Dear Mom,

It’s Sunday, September 16th. I’ll be 59 next Saturday.

I’ve been spending a lot of time with Donna Omer — looking for a dress for David’s wedding. I had lost 21 lbs, but now I’m back up.

I truly can’t imagine being at Dic’s for my birthday without you there. I miss you so much and truly hope you are in a better place.

I cry a lot. At silly things — I dream of you, and it hurts so much when I wake up.

I’m so alone. No one really cares what I’m doing at any given time. I feel like I could just fade away and no one would notice. You would.

It’s so much harder losing you than losing Dad. At least he didn’t suffer.

I wish I could feel your hug.

Kathleen A. Gagne