“Letters to Mom”

One of her journals I found is titled “Letters to Mom”. It’s a collection of letters she wrote to her mother — my “Nana Anna” — starting about four months after her death.

Hi, Mom,

Christmas is almost here, and I’m dreading it. I still can’t believe you’re gone. I’m angry at myself for not coming to you that night.

I’m angry with my life in general. How did I end up like this?

I’m so alone.

I don’t want to go to Dic’s. I’m not in the mood for all his friends.

I’m hurt because we probably won’t see David and [redacted].

I wish I knew how to fix my life. Jen thinks God would be the answer, but I haven’t felt any God for decades, and when I think of him/her/it, I’m just angry.

I got $750.00 in the mail yesterday as part of a class action lawsuit. I guess that’s cool.

Jen’s coming Thursday.

I love you,
Kathleen A. Gagne