I found dozens of mom’s journals after she died. One of them is titled “Letters to Mom”. It’s a collection of letters she wrote to her mother — my “Nana Anna” — starting about four months after her death.
These posts are entries from that journal.
Dear Mom, Sometimes you drove me crazy. I felt as if I was an alien in the family. I was always dreaming. I still dream. I still hope. I was thinking about some of the things you and Daddy did that really hurt me. You gave away my dog, my Blackie, and you let me […]
Mom, We lost your voice today. T-Mobile had a glitch and your, “Hi. This is Anne. Speak your peace,” went away. I feel really bad for Dic. He’s been calling you every day, and I don’t think there’s a way to get it back. I wish we had taken more video of you, and certainly […]
Hi, Mom, The Patriots just beat the Colts. Stressful game! Donna and I went to see a funny romance movie called “Dan in Real Life”. It was pretty good. I’ve been really tired lately, probably because I’m not eating right. I think what I need to do is start eating right just because I want […]
Hi, Mom, I babysat for Janet and Eric Peburn’s kids last night. They were wonderful! How could they not be? The whole Peburn family is perfect. It made me sad to think that I’m 59, and I don’t have any grandchildren. It’s hard if your kids are thousands of miles away. I’m lucky if I […]
Mom, This is crazy! I don’t want to get rich because you died in pain at the hands of idiots. I’d rather win the lottery and take you on a trip around the world. I can’t believe I went to Maui. The sad part was the pall hanging over it. I really want [redacted], but […]
Hi, Mom. I really hope you’re listening somewhere. Dic seems to think we’re going to split a million dollars. You know Dic. We still haven’t taken your ashes to the beach, but you would know that. I’m not sure what we’re going to do for Christmas. Maybe then. I’m pretty sure David and [redacted] will […]
Hi, Mom. I drove to Daytona today for your birthday. Dic and I each drank a shot of Amaretto in your honor. Life is so different without you here. I truly miss your hugs, and, most of all, your smile. By the way, the Red Sox were the best team in baseball all year, and […]
Hi, Mom, I’m really missing you tonight. I’m in the Holiday Inn we stayed in when you came to my graduation. I’m here for a stupid conference. I hate them. I have to kennel Mocha and leave the cats, and I never get anything out of them. I was talking to a bank teller today. […]
Hi, again, Mom. Things are strange. I may get a lot of money because you died. it doesn’t seem right. I really miss your hugs, and I feel lost and more alone than ever. I went to Cedar Key today with my friend, Donna. It was okay, but it was drizzling some of the time, […]
Mom, I don’t know what to do about your cell phone. I wish we had more samples of your voice or more videos. Seven o’clock every night is still hard. And your birthday is coming up. I went to Maui for David’s wedding. Jen and I shared a condo and spent a lot of time […]