“Letters to Mom”

One of her journals I found is titled “Letters to Mom”. It’s a collection of letters she wrote to her mother — my “Nana Anna” — starting about four months after her death.

Hi, Mom,

I babysat for Janet and Eric Peburn’s kids last night. They were wonderful! How could they not be? The whole Peburn family is perfect.

It made me sad to think that I’m 59, and I don’t have any grandchildren.

It’s hard if your kids are thousands of miles away.

I’m lucky if I see David once a year. Jen comes more often, but I still hate that she lives in Chicago! The other night, she called me at 4:00 a.m. while she was biking home.

I worry so much about both of them and about me living alone.

I’m so lonely, all the time. Cats and dogs are great, but it doesn’t make up for having someone to talk to, someone who cares enough to live with you.

I’ve been eating all the wrong things since Maui. I’m afraid to get on the scale. I’m thinking about joining Curves again.

I really, really need to lose weight and keep it off. Usually, I blame you and Dad for that.

I love you,
Kathleen A. Gagne